Word Vomit: Humor Shorts
I feel like shit. I don’t want to think, the internet is down and there’s no work so here I am, pouring my boredom all over this page. I’m not sure what to write about, like I said I don’t want to think, so I’m just going to write whatever comes to my head. Not sure … Continue reading
Kinds of Our Time
Wandering souls on a moving landscape of expectation juxtaposed against a sea of self entitlement and disbelief; held accounted for by the unicorned armies that slave tirelessly in the name of an ideal of their own creation stopping only to notice the flaws of others; building fruitless waves of anger and depression; self medicated and … Continue reading
Hmm… Tastes Like Squirrel
Another trip to Colorado means another trip down memory lane. In the all-time weird foods that I have eaten, this definitely ranks in the top 5 and surely deserves it’s own post. ***WARNING*** If you are vegetarian, vegan, an animal lover, a rabid squirrel enthusiast, or easily disgusted, this post is definitely FOR you! You see, … Continue reading
Holy Smokes Batman! An Electrical Fire!
Tonight we celebrate the three month anniversary of the Great Fire of 2011. You haven’t heard of the Great Fire of 2011 you say? Oh my! Sit down and buckle up kids. Daddy’s got a story to tell. It all started with a lamp… we guess. Technically it all started as just another Friday, I … Continue reading
WTF Moment of the Week
Have you ever had one of those days where you just had to wonder about your purpose on the earth? I’m talking about a day where you have been cast as the world’s porta-potty to be constantly shit on by strangers who’ve eaten too many bacon wrapped chili-dogs at the local fair. Luckily I don’t … Continue reading
Defiant Leaf
Quiet. I stood alone on the sidewalk reveling in the emptiness of an otherwise cluttered city. The sounds that provided the perfunctory atmosphere were relegated to the highways in the distance, their waves not powerful enough to find their way through the maze of skyscrapers and dilapidated buildings to reach my ears. A slight breeze … Continue reading
Paris Hilton, the Wu-Tang Clan, and Me
The funny thing about telling people you live in LA is that everyone invariably asks, “how many famous people have you seen?” as if every time you take your blind overweight dog outside to drain the dragon you get to say “whaddup?” to Maaaaaaaaatt Daaaaaaaaaamon (think Team America here). The ironic thing about this question … Continue reading
Confessions of a Gargoyle
Inspired by a phone conversation overheard on the metro blue line going through Compton. The ring felt like a sledgehammer when it hit my face, shattering my life into a million irrelevant pieces. How did it come to this? I stood there staring into the dark void that is now my life, my feet rooted … Continue reading
Giving Movie Theaters the Finger
Section 2 of the Sherman antitrust act states that, ” Every person who shall monopolize, or attempt to monopolize, or combine or conspire with any other person or persons, to monopolize any part of the trade or commerce among the several States, or with foreign nations, shall be deemed guilty of a felony, and, on … Continue reading
The 50 Piece McNugget
I took this out of my blog about Vegas to make it a separate post for my food category. After the Stratosphere we were pumped up with adrenaline so I decided to call Jerrod’s bluff. He had been telling me non-stop since we arrived that Vegas was the only place in the world where McDonalds … Continue reading
kluckit 