Heart Attack Part Deux: WTF AMERICA?

You may or may not (probably not) have read my little rant on a dude having a heart attack while eating the triple bypass burger at the aptly named “Heart Attack Grill” so it should come as no surprise that I religiously follow stupid news. Well guess what people, the stupid just got STUPIDER (I’m also a fan of made up words). I can’t even believe that I am writing this but IT F*&KING HAPPENED AGAIN. That’s right, just 2 months after figuring out that normal human beings can’t handle 10,000 calorie meals, a woman went down while trying to tackle the double bypass burger. I honestly don’t even know what to say anymore; at least the first guy had the balls to attempt a triple.

Seriously people, all joking aside THIS SHIT IS BAD FOR YOU. I mean look at the menu. Look at it! I SAID LOOK AT IT! Their registered trademark is “TASTE WORTH DYING FOR”. THEY ARE TRYING TO KILL YOU.

I know we’re the land of I DO WHAT I WANT CUZ I’M OUT OF CONTROL and I DON’T GIVE A FLYING F*&K, THIS IS AMUUUUUURICA, but it’s literally starting to kill us. I guess this is the natural selection of the future.

Go ride a bike America  -_-

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Comments
11 Responses to “Heart Attack Part Deux: WTF AMERICA?”
  1. Leslie Madsen says:

    Love the new SF view….WTF? These people are out of contronl!

  2. hmunro says:

    Yeah, I read your first little rant about this topic, alright — and I can’t *believe* a second person has literally eaten themselves to death! But maybe it’s natural selection, as you say. And at least it makes for an interesting obituary …

  3. hmunro says:

    I just found a gem for ya, Kluckmeister: If you’re ever in the Twin Cities, I will treat you to a Gangster Burger. And it’ll be my treat even if you can’t finish the three half-pound burgers, four 7-oz steak patties, 16 ounces of gyro meat, 8 slices of cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, ketchup, mayo, mustard, steak sauce, and cucumber sauce. But I *will* insist that you eat the entire deep-fried pickle.

    http://youcarewhatwethink.blogspot.com/2011/11/fish-chips-soul-food-heaven-st-paul-mn.html

  4. Terri Sonoda says:

    Hi Kluck. I haven’t been over here in awhile, but I’m glad to see you’re still klucking! And? I love it when you go a rant. And a worthwhile one, at that! Nicely done!

  5. hmunro says:

    Hey there, Kluckmeister. I’ve missed reading you lately … where have you disappeared to? If by any slim chance you’re within 300 miles of Minnesota, consider this your official invitation to accompany me to the State Fair. This list is just the *new* fried crap on a stick they’re introducing this year: http://www.mnstatefair.org/fun/12_new_food.html
    Anyway, hope all is well!

    • kluckmeister says:

      Chocolate peanut butter cup fudge puppies? Kill me with a spoon and shove it in my insides.

      If I was nearby I’d be there, unfortunately that would be about a 2,000 mile road trip. Down a Yosemite Samwhich for me.

      • hmunro says:

        I hope you won’t be disappointed, but the only foods I could stomach (pardon the pun) were the fried fruit and the fried pickle. Nothing to write home about, but worth it for the improbable-fried-food-on-a-stick novelty. Meh.

      • kluckmeister says:

        I can’t say I’m floored but two fried ‘edibles’ in one outing is still impressive. Well done.

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