A Letter to the Burger King

I am so far behind on posting the adventure of the Pizza Burger! As a teaser here is the email I sent to Burger King’s PR department a few weeks before I left. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Dear his majesty The King, I have recently taken up comedic journalism as a hobby and am writing you about my … Continue reading

Confessions of a Gargoyle

Inspired by a phone conversation overheard on the metro blue line going through Compton. The ring felt like a sledgehammer when it hit my face, shattering my life into a million irrelevant pieces. How did it come to this? I stood there staring into the dark void that is now my life, my feet rooted … Continue reading

Slut’O’Ween: If Only the Pagans Could See Us Now

Another Halloween come and gone and again I am left dazed and confused from too much beer, candy, and overexposed female anatomy. Maybe someone from an older generation can explain to me at which point in time America side-stepped the conventional Halloween celebrations in lieu of more, how should I say this, expressive ones. I … Continue reading

My Yellowbrick Road to Obesity: The Fudruckers One Pound Burger

I returned from Vegas battered and broken at not being able to complete the 50 nugget challenge but was more determined than ever to redeem myself. Luckily I got my chance just a week or two later. One of the first burger places I went upon coming to California was a nice family establishment called … Continue reading

Giving Movie Theaters the Finger

Section 2 of the Sherman antitrust act states that, ” Every person who shall monopolize, or attempt to monopolize, or combine or conspire with any other person or persons, to monopolize any part of the trade or commerce among the several States, or with foreign nations, shall be deemed guilty of a felony, and, on … Continue reading