Raging Bull, Sitting Stoner

 

Welcome one and all to the first kluckit kaption. The premise is simple: find a picture and make fun of people. Feel free to add yours below.

 

1. “Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude!”  

Yes, this is certainly gnar, possibly rad, and depending on which part of Cali you’re from (cuz you’re clearly a Cali bro) it could even be hyphy. Now go hang ten on a pile of suck it.
 

2. “Hey bro, remember how I told you that I loved you so much I’d die for you? I lied.”

I’ve reviewed the official book of man-code and whimpering behind your best friend in the face of danger qualifies you for “tampon of the week”. Congrats my friend, you earned it.
 

3. “Whumpf duhhh fugg?”

You are living proof that no matter the situation, it is impossible to keep an eastern bloc European from smoking a cigarette. You should pray the bull kills you before you have the joy of dealing with lung cancer.
 

4. “Ohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuck…..”

Let this be a warning to all you kids out there. Hitting the bong will not help you escape a raging bull. Also, wearing a Kiss t-shirt to the running of the bulls WILL brand you as an American stoner… especially when you look like you could be in a Geico commercial.
 

5. “Hey guys! What are you doing down there?”

I’m not sure how you managed it, but you might very well be the only girl in this picture. I know you want to prove that you can “hang with the guys” but where the power of your tits may get you extra attention from men, it isn’t going to save you from an angry bull.
 

6. “Isn’t this great ?!?!?!”

Yea, it’s always funny when it isn’t you being trampled. Laugh it up asshole, karma dictates that the brakes will fail you when you drive your minivan home.
 

7. “Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!”

I’m not sure if this guy’s best friend is about to die or if he’s watching the scene from Toy Story 3 where all the toys are about to be melted. Either way, this guy has one-line cameo written all over him. Welcome to Hollywood my friend.
 

8. “Sup bull?”

Just as Cali bro’s shaggy hair and facial demeanor mark him as a product of the West, Frat Bro’s “I just saw my first pair of boobs” facial expression and white-rimmed sun glasses indicate that he spends his time in the frat house daring pledges to eat vomit. Enjoy life after college where your nights will be spent remembering how cool you and all your friends used to be.
 

9. “Did I get it?”

Only you would be worried about taking a picture at a time like this. You’re probably the guy who goes back home and tells everyone that you single-handedly fought a bull just to have fresh Rocky Mountain Oysters with your afternoon cup of tea.
 

10. “The smell. So… much… BO…”

Seriously. This shot might as well be an old spice ad with how many sweaty men are trying desperately to fit into a space the size of a thimble.

11. “FUCK YOU HUMANS! THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR TYING A ROPE AROUND MY BALLS!”

I would be remiss if I didn’t quote the bull here who is clearly having the moment of his life. This bull is the epitome of Charlie Sheen‘s favorite quote, “WINNING.”

Advertisements
Comments
5 Responses to “Raging Bull, Sitting Stoner”
  1. They didn’t show Guy #12, who’s about to get shit on by the bull.

  2. tsonoda148 says:

    That’s me wayyyyyyy up there in the back. I’m number 19734 probably. I’m the one with a margarita in both hands. I’m squinting and saying, “What do you suppose is going on down there? Let’s get nachos!”

  3. Moe says:

    Looks more like a rugby scrum and the bull got in the way.

  4. hmunro says:

    Hey, Kluckmeister! I’ve been person #9: the idiot who is thinking about metering and composition as an enraged bull tramples millions of innocent tourists to death. (OK, thousands.) My apologies to everyone who was unable to flee because my tripod got in the way.

    Seriously, though … where did you disappear to? I’ve missed reading your often-hilarious-and-always-thought-provoking posts. Hope all is well.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: