Because Ninjas Like to Get High Too
Why else do you think they ate all that pizza?
Anyways, this is what happens when you spend down-time reading the “news”. Last time it was someone having a heart attack at the “Heart Attack Grill”, this time it’s stoner ninjas. I don’t even want to know what comes next.
I found this “bud”ding story on the San Francisco “Chronic”al and ran it through the kluckit test “pipe”line. Despite a few inconsistencies and terrible puns, it has made it’s way here for you all as I’ve decided to answer back to a few of the Chronical’s comments.
Medical Marijuana Delivery Man Attacked by Ninjas
“West Covina police say two people in ninja costumes robbed a medical marijuana delivery man but it’s not clear how much money or marijuana was taken.”
Ninjas will never leave a trail, I’m surprised you even knew they were there in the first place.
“The victim had just made a delivery to a patient on South Sunset Avenue and was headed to his car when the pair confronted him and chased him with batons.”
-Have you ever heard of Ninja Batons? Neither have I. Call them swords, stars, nunchuks, or even make something up. You really blew a chance to make this story a LITTLE more exciting.
“Henley says the attack took place just before 10 p.m. Friday.”
-Ninja attacks always happen at night, and preferably early enough on weekends so there’s still time to knock down some Sake-bombs.
“The lieutenant says he knows of no other ninja-style thefts recently.”
-That’s because unlike this one they were all done right. Carry on.
If I had to guess it was probably this guy…
kluckit 
Good to see you posting again! Ninjas are awesome. My personal ninja works at the hobby lobby.
Loved your asides about this “bud”ding story that came down the “pipe”line! But I highly doubt the attack was carried out by *real* ninjas, since — as you observe — no one would have seen them. The fact that they were carrying batons makes me think they were more likely Royal Canadian Mounties disguised as ninjas. Ha.
I remember when Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were on TV as a weekly show. My older son was very young. He used to run around acting like a ninja turtle. LOUDLY. Thanks for the walk down memory lane. LOL
I used to rent the movies and watch while drinking chocolate milk and eating koala yummies. TMNT was the shit.
Sounds like the worst ninjas ever. Sweet TMNT pic though.
Classic stoner brain right there : “Duuuuuude, I know! We’ll dress up as frickin’ ninjas maaaan!” =P (P.S. I don’t know what koala yummies are, but I’m now jonesing for a feast of them and a carton of chocolate milk.)
I may have dated myself but you have not lived until you’ve chowed on some koala yummies
http://childrenofthenineties.blogspot.com/2009/05/koala-yummies.html
And the jonesing continues… Curse the day I was born in Ireland!
LOL west covina is down the street from me… FYI