Heart Attack Part Deux: WTF AMERICA?
You may or may not (probably not) have read my little rant on a dude having a heart attack while eating the triple bypass burger at the aptly named “Heart Attack Grill” so it should come as no surprise that I religiously follow stupid news. Well guess what people, the stupid just got STUPIDER (I’m also a fan of made up words). I can’t even believe that I am writing this but IT F*&KING HAPPENED AGAIN. That’s right, just 2 months after figuring out that normal human beings can’t handle 10,000 calorie meals, a woman went down while trying to tackle the double bypass burger. I honestly don’t even know what to say anymore; at least the first guy had the balls to attempt a triple.
Seriously people, all joking aside THIS SHIT IS BAD FOR YOU. I mean look at the menu. Look at it! I SAID LOOK AT IT! Their registered trademark is “TASTE WORTH DYING FOR”. THEY ARE TRYING TO KILL YOU.
I know we’re the land of I DO WHAT I WANT CUZ I’M OUT OF CONTROL and I DON’T GIVE A FLYING F*&K, THIS IS AMUUUUUURICA, but it’s literally starting to kill us. I guess this is the natural selection of the future.
Go ride a bike America -_-