WARNING: This post not suitable for children… or vegetarians

In my short lived time here on WordPress you have been lucky enough to read about the adventures of my tastebuds who have enjoyed (and/or not enjoyed) such delights as teriyaki squirrel, roadkill possum, a 1 lb burger, a Japanese hot-dog, a NY Pizza Burger, and a 50 piece McNugget. Though my tastes have also stretched as far as Kangaroo Jerky, rattlesnake, and a variety of fried treats, I have lacked the volume to make my adventures truely epic. For this I must pay homage and draw inspiration from the masters.

So far my food challenges have been inspired by the one we simply call “Man”. This everyday hero goes out on a weekly basis and pits himself against one of the most difficult and deadly foes of our time, “Food”. His legendary battles create stories of such biblical proportions that he was given his own TV show which was named by simply combining the two foes in a 3-syllable knockout punch: “Man vs. Food”. I could go on about this living god amongst men (well not god as he will surely die early of cholesterol poisoning) but I am not here to promote him in this post. I am here to introduce you to the masters of volume and indulgence, the partakers and elevators of gluttony (my favorite deadly sin), the sultans of swat (anyone?), and the defeaters of empty stomachs: Epic Meal Time.

Here’s where the real warning kicks in.

***WARNING***

The following contains language inappropriate for small children and images inappropriate for vegetarians, watch at your own risk. KluckIt does not endorse or condone the actions performed by Epic Meal Time, he merely idolizes them. Many, many, MANY animals were injured in the making of these videos.

Turkey on Thanksgiving? Boringly standard.       Ham? What is this Christmas?     Turducken? Still weak.

Try Turduckenailhenpig (turkey, duck, chicken, cornish hen, quail, pig) 

Thought my 1 lb burger was big? Think again. Ever had a quadruple decker at Wendys? Imagine that times BLOW YOUR MIND.

Since I’ve subjected you all to enough meat for one week, here’s one for the veggies. Salad time!

In writing this post I have felt my heart slow down so much that I am forced to leave the rest of the “research” up to you. Remember to first bow and give thanks… that someone else is eating all of this and not you.

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Comments
9 Responses to “WARNING: This post not suitable for children… or vegetarians”
  1. tsonoda148 says:

    Well that’s gross. I sometimes watch Man vs Food, but I don’t think I will anymore. In fact, maybe I can successfully start that diet now.

    Terri (stomach gurgling…..thankyouverymuchKluck)

  2. Peter says:

    You disgust me.

  3. Moe says:

    Nasty-just nasty

  4. Epic Mealtime is funny as hell. I can’t believe they eat the shit they make. Also check out “Regular Ordinary Swedish Mealtime.”

  5. Bambii says:

    Hey Kevin… did I tell you that there is a place in Savannah whose claim to fame is a 3-lb burger? If you can eat it in 40-minutes…it’s the Wall of Fame. Also, while in Las Vegas, discovered the hot fudge bacon sundae. When will you be ready to add those to your list of accomplishments?

  6. Ashley M. says:

    Love EpicMealTime. I was going to suggest them to you after reading some of your posts but you already knew of their awesomeness! Love the post! ❤

  7. kbobsk says:

    I think Jack Links should get involved in the “Turduckenailhenpig” business. I know I’d be a big customer. I like your irreverent style. It creates a speed for the prose that accelerates as you make your points, particularly when leading up to the series of videos. Also, I’m sensing an affinity toward that other PETA group (People for the Eating of Tasty Animals). If so, welcome to the club.

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