Sleepy in Seattle

One of the benefits of my job is the opportunity for travel; unfortunately traveling in the winter can be disheartening. It is not easy to leave the 70 degree weather of sunny Los Angeles for a place much darker and colder so when I got the call about a project in Seattle I was both overjoyed and saddened at the same time. If my last trip to Atlanta was an indication of what this one would be like, my flight would take off in the 80 degree heat with a beautiful view of the Pacific Ocean doing its best to swallow un-prepared Texans only to arrive in 20 degree snowy weather at a place where everyone looks cold and depressed. Luckily for me, this was not the case with Seattle, for the first day at least…

I’ve often heard the horror stories of Seattle that contain gripes about endless rain and a non-existent sun, so it was very surprising to see a clear, beautiful day waiting for me as out plane began its final approach. I spent the entire descent staring out of the small oval airplane window in awe, craning my neck to get a better view of the snowcapped peaks that were surrounded by lush green forests. It was odd though to see such beauty in Seattle mirrored in the water that surrounded the area. As a previously land locked mountain dweller the mix of majestic mountains, endless forests and vast fjords didn’t register in my mind as normal. In fact, the whole scene seemed completely unreal to me, as if someone had magically combined the New Zealand topography with my hometown mountains from Colorado and placed them right below me as some sort of practical joke. I was instantly reminded of how much I miss the beauty of Colorado, especially the days in Boulder after a snowstorm when the sun would rise on Flatirons still covered completely in white. It’s clear to me now how easy it is to take natural beauty for granted and I hesitate to think about the many road trips wasted on cards, portable TVs and game boys when I was younger. I decided to make up for that lost time by spending the next four hours walking the coastline of the city of Seattle to Olympic View Park and back before eventually settling on a pier to watch the sunset with a cup of the best mac and cheese I have ever had in my life.

Imagine staring at this sunset in a temperature where you can see your breath all while eating a warm bowl of amazing mac n’ cheese

Not a shabby first day right? I think some of that description was inspired by “Into the Wild” which I am currently flying through on the trains to and from work. Unfortunately for me (and you my dear reader) my adventures ended there. My project was very demanding and required me to be up before sunrise, in a basement with files all day, and then out after sunset. For this reason I cannot tell you what it is like to spend your days in the city, but I can tell you how it feels like to be caught in a crappy version of Twilight where Edward is not some dreamboat vamp from the netherworld but actually a financial geek who resides in the W hotel in downtown Seattle. Let’s just put it this way, I’m not sure it has a lot of production value. This being said, I was able to get two interesting stories out of my trip. The first occurred when I happened upon a “Dog Japon” hotdog stand (made from real dog! Just kidding). My adventurous culinary instincts took over and before I knew it I had a Matsuri dog in my hand.

Hooooooooooooooooo MATSURI!

As you can see from the picture, the kielbasa sausage is covered in Nori (seaweed), teriyaki onion, Japanese mayo (much better than American mayo), and carrots. If you’re lucky like I was, he’ll also throw on some diced green onions and possibly a little fish eggs. Before you ask how it tastes let me ask you this. Do you like hotdogs? What about sushi? If you answered no to either of these then you will NOT LIKE THIS DOG. If you answered yes to both of these then you will probably KINDA LIKE THIS DOG. I actually enjoyed it for at least two-thirds of the way through but after that Mac and Cheese the taste left something to be desired. The Japanese ingredients gave it the flavor of sushi but the kielbasa entertained a certain vision of some sort of weird food mix up where the meat was trying to explain to the seaweed officers that there had been a mistake and the raw fish had set him up. Unfortunately the seaweed officers would have none of it so the sausage died a slow and cruel death at the tips of my molars. What a flawed legal system. Food Risk Rating Required: Adventurous.

The other story comes from a night when, tired of working 13 hours a day and not being rewarded for it, my two work buddies Tyler (who you might remember from my “getting trapped in a log cabin in Atlanta” story) and Terry (a delightful Texan with arm muscles the size of my calves and a beer palate that demands Coors Light over any craft beer) and I decided to treat ourselves to a nice (and expensive) dinner on the company card. In-between bites of an amazingly spiced steak that was only rivaled by the ridiculous beauty of the hostess we noticed a group of people walking from one of the back rooms towards the exit. This is usually a normal thing but what caught our eye was the fact that the majority of the group was wearing Seattle Seahawks jerseys. Again not a random thing considering earlier that evening the Seattle Seahawks had upset the defending Super Bowl Champion New Orleans Saints just a few miles south. The weird thing about the jersey troupe was that they all had the same name across the back and surrounded a tall, bulky, and well dressed individual. Sure enough as they approached the front entrance of the building people began to notice, stand, and applaud. While I was confused at first I finally made the connection and realized that we were sitting in the middle of a standing ovation for none other than the Seattle Seahawks starting free-safety Lawyer Milloy. I would tell you the name of this place and give it a shameless plug if it weren’t for the terrible service we received. I will make the suggestion to you that if you find yourself at a super nice restaurant and are semi-dressed the part, the easiest way to get the waiter to stop paying attention to you is to order a round of waters when he asks what he can get you from the wine menu. Water is a tip killer. Lesson learned.

Author’s note to male (and female if you are so inclined) readers: I am still tempted to give you the name of this establishment just so that you may meet the most gorgeous hostess in the world. If you are traveling to Seattle let me know, and make sure to stop in and say hi for me.

6 Responses to “Sleepy in Seattle”
  1. tsonoda148 says:

    Kluck, you really have some cool adventures! I would pass on the dog, but of course I want the name of that establishment! I’m a Denver Broncos fan and gave up half way through the season, so I don’t even know who’s playing. Yea, poor sport. We Denver fans die a slow and painful death.

    Nice post!

  2. Bronan! says:

    Are you a Futurama fan? Your sushi dog description made me think of the episode with Dr. Zoidberg ordering a hot dog at a Blurnz Ball game.

    Dr. Z – “I’ll have one of your young on a roll.”
    Vendor – “We’re out of rolls.”
    Dr. Z – “Then I’ll have something crawling with parasites.”
    (later shows Dr. Z eating a hot dog)

    Moral of the story: You sir, possess an iron stomach.

  3. I love Pike Place Market. I hang around the salmon vendors like a seal. They give awake hunks the size of chicken mc nuggets!
    By the way, if you are wondering, in Texas we pronounce salmon as (sam-mun) and (sal-mun, sal-mon, or sammon)

    I am sure that you will agree. Ya’ll look for the sammun! now, ya hear?

    • kluckmeister says:

      Haha unfortunately my vampire-like job prevented me from seeing Pike’s Place in its prime. Another trip is in my future!

      • I am putting you on my blog roll. I like your blog and I would like others to see it. If you would prefer not to be listed,, please send me an email at
        If you don’t mind being on my blog roll, why don’t you send me an email and give me a short description that you think sums up your blog. I need a short description to go with the link. You are so eclectic and diverse I am having a difficult time trying to aptly describe it in just one sentence.
        Thanks either way friend.
        Your fan and friend,

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  1. […] enjoyed (and/or not enjoyed) such delights as teriyaki squirrel, roadkill possum, a 1 lb burger, a Japanese hot-dog, a NY Pizza Burger, and a 50 piece McNugget. Though my tastes have also stretched as far as […]

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